Apparently things took a turn for the worse...

I never expected this... I thought it was on the way to becoming better but suddenly, it just went the other way...

I have never seen you in the way you deemed yourself to be. Not for now, and i know that it won't be, even in the future.

I needa grow up. Thats what evryone tells me... Cuz i am simply too naive and gullible. I know i have to grow up to keep up to evrything. I wanna mature too... However, its smth easily said but seriously, who can tell me how to? It's just smth that comes naturally and perhaps i was born with a defect in my brain that makes me a retarded and naive 'kid' as of what i am today.

It's stressful and difficult to be facing it evryday... Perhaps i am too childish to understand all of you. Perhaps my suggestions are just stupid remarks. Perhaps i'm such a donkey that nobody ever bothers explaining to me...

No matter what you say, what you do, what happens, i'll still treat you as my best friend. To you, you are a baddie who just bullies me. To me, i know you were there for me when i needed a listening ear, even if the timing is not suitable, you'll still stay listening to me. You keep a lookout for me cuz you know that my stupidity will land me into deep shit. You never fail to make me smile and you always try your best to tell me that i'm great and you will try to make me feel confident. You're always forgiving me despite the many times i irritate you and say retarded things. You're even willing to sacrifice to make me learn that the society is not as simple as what i think.

You can continue to feel whatever you're feeling, but you can't change my mindset on it. I know that all the things you have done to me were just playful acts with no intended harm. I don't know how to explain things to you cuz you'll try to get you point through and eventually, nth i say will be heeded.

I will still treat you as my best friend no matter what, cuz the marks you left in my life, are deeply imprinted and it'll never go... No matter what, please don't feel guilty towards yourself. If by behaving like that makes you feel better, i'd rather it be this way. Just don't feel that you're an asshole...

Labels: i'll never feel that way., No matter what you say