It's been so long since i came back on eh?


Went for monitor board camp on Monday and it lasted till yesterday. It was held at NACLI campsite. Before i went for the camp, i heard of how great and how nice NACLI is. When i went there, it was really cool! The whole place was like a resort and the rooms were really nice. it didn't feel like it was a camp. Evrything was so relaxing and we did things at our own pace. The only thing i hated about the camp was that we had to climb up Kent Ridge hill several times and that really killed me.
We had Mr Danny Chong again as our trainer and his wife, Auntie June, was his helper as usual.
The room i stayed in with my roomies, ( Brenda, Serene and Jasmine) was really cosy and cool... The air-con was super cold and the bed was super nice to sleep on. We had our own cupboards in the room to hang our clothes and the shower had a heater, so we showered with hot water. It was really nice and cool and my roomies and i we're all like, "everything must be neat, boil water, no shoes beyond this point..." We are a bunch of crazy girls man.
I also managed to make a lot of new friends. The Monitor board juniors are a bunch of hyper dears and those my age ( Lijun, Tze Kiat, Wei Ting.. some to name) are even crazier. We learnt how to serve through this camp and we went to Stamford's Primary on the second day to serve the kids. It was really cool and fun!

But through the camp, i had a constant sense of worry and guilt towards this special someone who has made a mark in my life. Because of my mom's stupid doings, it has caused trouble and unhappiness to this person. If the person is reading this now, i just wanna say that i am really really really sorry! Please don't be angry no more... I know it was a really idiotic thing to do, but i had no idea why my mom went to say that. I don't want the friendship to end here like that. I have no guts to call you cuz i have no idea if you are still angry, still mad. So if you have cooled down, at least text me or IM me to let me know k? I am really really really very sorry... Please don't be angry...

When an elastic band has been stretched to the limit, it will plainly snap. When a building has got too much "weight" to handle, it will simply collapse. Now that things are all turning out like that, I am just gonna shut up and break away...

So much to chunk out now cuz so much happened...

My nieces came from Philippines last week and yeah, it is kinda late to blog about it now, but nevertheless...
Stephanie and Kristel. I am so glad that we are relatives. They are the coolest!!! They can talk about everything and anything under the sun. They are cool optimists and they joke and laugh and talk and think positive. I can relate to them as i am kinda of an optimist and a crappy joker too. We sorta share the same dress sense too and we think in a westernised way... So glad to have more bananas come join me! Even my dad was like, " You guys together= crazy monkeys who are too positive and preach the same optimistic stuff... Blah blah..."
Throughout the days that they were here, we ate Chicken rice, satay, popiah, rojak, Soup restaurant, Roasted duck, Char siew, Shao rou, dim sum, laksa, hokkien noodles, chilli crab ( sinful!!!), white sliced fish hor fun, tako pachi, tori Q, ya kun kaya bread, curry puff... These are only those i could think of. There are really a lot more we tasted but i just cannot remember... We drank mostly bandung and iced milk tea and chinese tea, cuz Steph and Kris just adored those drinks... they loved these drinks so much that mom bought a huge bottle of Rose syrup and carnation milk for them to bring back to make their own bandung...
It was really fun throughout the days they came and i really cannot wait for the next time we meet again either here in Singapore or when we go over to manila.

School's boring... Studying everyday... I have no mood to study at all as all my other friends in other schools are having their holidays. I dread waking up every morning especially now that it's the rainy season. Grr... I love rainy days and i love sleeping in on rainy days... But i have gotta go to school...

It's raining now... I love rainy days, especially rainy nights as i am a night person and rainy nights are dark, and they seem to shut me out of the world... The rain is so noisy and becuz so, it allows me to be in my own world. I am in my own world now, so alone and shut out.

I am not sad, just confused.
I am perfectly alright, that's what i think.
I wanna cry, but i guess i am numb.
I wanna scream and get angry at you, but i just cannot bring
myself to.
I understand the outcome, but can i not accept
it?
I know i have to face up to reality, but can i choose not
to?

Now that it's all said and done, i feel the ache. I don't want
this to be the outcome, but i guess it's really over... I wish that i stopped it
long ago, but i can only blame myself for being such a fool to hold on myself. I
blame no one but myself. I give up. I want to let the rain take everything away.
If growing up was so difficult, i would rather not grow up at all... Tears
have flowed, words were expressed, actions were carried out... But
the pain's not cured but in fact gets inflamed... When will it heal?

The rain just never seems to bring, the joy i feel the same,
everlasting pain of the lost remains. My heart can't seem to learn
to part, the hole you left your mark, all that i dreamed of now it
seems so stuck. There's nothing left for me to do now but give in. If you gave
me one chance to tell you, how my heart was feeling, i would sing to you and
tell you i won't live my life without you. If you gave me one chance to tell you
how i was feeling, i would hold your hands and look in your eyes, and you know
i'll never let you go... And I hate how much I love you boy, but I just can't
let you go, and I hate that I love you so... One of these days maybe your magic
won't affect me, but no one in this world knows, so you'll probably always have
a spell on me... Now that it's all said and done, I can't believe you were the
one,to build me up and tear me down, like an old abandoned house. Well, I never
saw it coming, and I should've started running, A long, long time ago...

Plenty of things happened these days. Good or bad, sweet or sour, i sorta experienced it all...