Dear Everyone,

My blog kinda brokedown about a month ago... Cuz i kinda did'nt know how to change it exactly... So i shall hereby spill all the beans about the past month and what i did...

School:
I still don't understand whatever the teachers are teaching... It is getting very frustrating cuz i feel like i am wasting my time. Everyday, i go to school and do the same s*** and i don't absorb anything. It is so boring and tiring. Sigh... This is a cycle i cannot stop, cannot change... Got to carry on aimlessly...

Family:
I don't know how to communicate with you anymore... Whatever i voice out, you say or portray it in another way. A way that you think it is which is totally not what i am trying to put across. I don't know if i am rebellious or you are over-strict. I am getting pissed at the fact that you still don't trust me... Haven't i proved myself enough? I don't know what else to do, how else to react. Verbal arguments are started and left dangling... I can't be bothered to explain myself anymore... Stop threatening cuz you think you have the right to... the bond between is thinning out...

Friends:
I miss you so much!!! Your absence is leaving me at a loss. Although it has been so long, i still cannot help but think of the times we shared and will be sharing if you are here... I really hope to be able to visit you soon... I MISS YOU!!!

Thank you so much for always being there for me... I know that i only look for you to talk... Sorry for treating you so badly... Just wanna let you know that i am really thankful to you for being such a good listening ear for me. Wish you luck with strawberry...

I don't see you as a burden. Although we are worlds apart, i am really glad to have known you as my friend. You are really a very good friend. There is no way i can ever let you go so easily... I am sorry if this sounds really harsh and selfish. But girl, you started the mess, so it is time for you top face up to it. Stop being an escapist... I don't want you to leave... You have made a mark in my life and i really don't wanna see you give up so easily... I don't wanna you to go just like that... Could you for my sake just stop being pessimistic and give up that thought. You are a precious friend to me and i don't wanna lose you... At least not in this manner... I don't wanna experience the pain... I know how you feel and i know your way of reacting is to duck away... However, i really hope that for this once, you can face up to reality... Who has'nt had it hard in life? It is just that perhaps you had it a little worse than others... For that, i can only pray for your burdens to be lightened. I can also only lend you my tree trunk arm and flabby shoulders to hold and cry on... I know that whatever i say will fall on deaf ears. No matter what it is, i just wanna tell you, " Be strong! Never give up! I will always be here for you..."

Personally: I finally found out and know where to proceed on to... Although the outcome was devastating, i sincerely wish you the best. I know that it cannot be forced and i kinda predicted the outcome long ago... I cannot gurantee that i can do my part to forget, but i will never blame you... I know that i will take a long time to erase the memories and feelings and it is not going to be easy... To know the outcome was a very painful thing. To accept it was worse. However, you should really go for the girl you can never forget and hopefully, you both will get back together again soon...

Life is filled with ups and downs. The footprints everyone left, is engraved deeply in my heart... All i can do is to remember and treasure... I am still hoping that things will go for a turn of change for the better. The only way to make my life easier is to let go. This is a thing that i can never master... Therefore, i can only hereby pray for the better...

Yours faithfully
Me