I think i am feeling so much better now. I cannot rot cause i know i will let many people down. Therefore, the old me is back!!! Yippee!!! I gotta learn how to cope anyway. Sad things happen everyday. I have to give my bacon and egg away. I know that this time, i will again be heartbroken, however i know that they will be going for the better. To my American breakfast: I love y'all but i am so sorry i can't keep y'all. I will definitely remember them. It is always a pain when i have to give my loves away. Shall try real hard not to cry this time.
Realised why i love the song 'Big Girls don't Cry' so much. Because, the chorus relates to me. What a wonderful song it is. I love everyone!!!

Back to blog cause i cannot get to sleep. Just wanna apologise for being and sounding so emo these days. I am just going through a rough patch and things are very emotional and unsettled. Just wanna assure everyone especially those who know, that i am perfectly fine. just give me a few more days to "recuperate" and i will be back to my usual self i promise. Love y'all!

Sigh... Today was an okay day. Went out with my mom and her friend. Was supposed to wake up at 1o. Set the alarm and woke up when it rang. However, when i woke up, i sorta lost my mood and so i went back to sleep. When i woke up, i came to an abrupt decision to go out. Tried to forget everything while shopping massively, however, i really had no mood.
I tried to be bubbly and cheerful and crazy but i realised that i just couldn't. Bought Famous Amos cookies today and remembered about the past, that moment, that time, that instance. It really sucks. Roo just asked me if i can forget. I don't know how to answer. Don't know how to react. I don't even know. If only it was so easy. I am seriously trying very hard. So hard that i am numb. Why must you be so nice to me??? Where's my shoulder to cry on when i need one? I don't know.

Gonna start afresh. Cannot believe that i am actually blogging. Went out with Roo today to amk hub to watch Harry Potter. After that, we went for dinner and walked home. Throughout the day, towards the end,things happened. I heard a lot from her and i could not advise her on anything. I feel so useless cause i know that she is seriously troubled as well. I sincerely apologise to her here (although i know that she will not come across my blog) and hope that things will turn out better for her. I myself am also stuck in a marshy situation.I cannot control my emotions. Why did i even like you in the first place? This does not need to happen to me but it is. I can only take it as it comes. But i seriously hope that you will do something to allow me to carry on be it good or bad. At least it is better for me. I don't want to be hanging here aimlessly. I cannot believe that i actually changed so much for you. I could not concentrate, lost weight, cried and blushed. I am freaking irritated by my own response/ actions. I think i am so emo now. I gotta start life proper after this post and a good nights sleep. Its not gonna be easy cause i will be reminded of you from time to time and i know that when i see your face i will go gaga again. I know as from my reaction tonight. I like you that i know. I am gonna have to face up to reality. Not gonna run away anymore. Gotta be patient and wait. Gonna let things take its own course. Be it good or bad, i feel lucky just to know that you feel the same way. I should be satisfied cause i am seriously not worthy of all that you have given me. I have experienced happiness, sweetness and many other great things that came packaged with it. I love it but i know i cannot go about like this anymore. I am gonna have to let go. Nothing lasts forever. May everything turn out well. May i be able to control myself. Just pray for myself to not give up hope. Before i end, special thanks to: Stella, Roo, Jomama and that you for helping me through everything and staying by me unconditionally 24/7 allowing me to feel blessed and well pampered. May god bless me.